Is friendship between unequal’s is possible?

The Mahabharata says that the friendship between the unequal’s is not possible.
The rich and the poor, the hero and a coward a scholar and the unlettered persons could never be friends, so says the Mahabharata.

Why is it so?

In the Shanthi Parva, King Yudhistra puts this question to the Bhishma.
To him Bhishma would reply as follows

‘In a forest there was a lion. It befriended a jackal. Once the jackal became the friend of the lion it started to enjoy all the privileges of the lion. All the other animals would stand in awe before him.

They would obey his words as if they were the words of the lion himself.
The jackal would chase away all its enemies (fellow jackals and other small creatures) from the forest. He obtained all the advantages from his friendship with the lion.

Then one day the lion was challenged by another lion come from afar. At that time the jackal was no good ally for the lion. Their friendship benefited only the jackal and not the lion.

Friends take and they give back. They dine and also entertain. They offer a support and also expect the support.

When one in the friendship will always be receiving and not giving back that friendship is waste.

A poor man cannot lend a rich when he is in trouble. A coward will derive all the benefits that would accrue out of his friendship with the hero and when the hero is himself in trouble will not be in a position to help him out.

Therefore the friendship with unequal’s is not beneficial’.

FRIENDSHIP AND MARRIAGE

There are two friendships, examples of two extremities elaborated. One in the Mahabharata and the other in Bhagawatha.

First we will explore the friendship between the Drona and the Panchala King Drupada.
Drona was the son of the Maharishi Bharadwaj (Maharishi Bharadwaj’s ashram is in the Allahabad).

Drupada was the Prince of the Panchala kingdom.

Both the Maharishi Bharadwaj and the Prachetas (Drupada’s father) were friends.
In that capacity the Prince would often visit the hermitage of the Bharadwaj. Drona and Drupada of being equal age formed friendship and delighted in the company of each other.

The things were going in this fashion and one day both Maharishi Bharadwaj and the King Prachetas passed away.

The Prince Drupada now became the King of his domain.
Drona stayed back in his father’s ashram.

He was by now a master in all weapons. He wanted to hone his skills further. He heard that the great sage Parashurama was giving away all his possessions to Brahmans.

Sage Parashurama was an authority in all the celestial weapons. He had single handedly conquered the vast country. He was now engaged in the act of giving all his possessions to the Brahmans.

Drona was desirous in obtaining the celestial weapons in the possession of the sage Parashurama.

He started to meet him. By the time he reached the abode of the sage Parashurama the sage had given all that he had to the assembled Brahmans.

Drona introduced himself to the sage Parashurama his lineage. He introduced himself to be the son of Maharishi Bharadwaj.

Sage Parashurama said to him,’ Tell me what you want. I have given all that I had with me. I can give you my life or my weapons. Tell me what you want’.

To this Drona replied.’ Revered Sir. Please give me all the celestial weapons at your command, together with the incantations to send them and also to take them back’.

‘So be it’, replied sage Parashurama.

Having obtained all the weapons from the sage, Drona then went to see his childhood friend turned King Drupada.

He announced himself to the King,’ I am Drona the son of Maharishi Bharadwaj and your child hood friend’.

Drupada looked at him as he would look some unworthy object and said to him.’ You are a poor man and I am a King. How can friendship be between you and me? It may be true that we were child hood friends. But our stations in life have changed’.

‘Friendship, marriage or enmity could be only with equals. It cannot be sustained between a rich and a poor man, a learned and a fool and between a hero and a coward’.
Having come thus far, ask anything that you may desire. I am a King and I will grant your wish. Don’t ask anything out of any notion of friendship’.

Drona didn’t expect this kind of a treatment from a friend. He turned away from the King Drupada.

He couldn’t bear this insult. Day in and day out this insult rankled him. He forgot to sleep. These words of the King Drupada always played in his ears.

Years later he would groom his students Kauravas and the Pandavas and would imprison Drupada and take half his Kingdom and thus take revenge on him. But that is long time after.

In contrast to this is the friendship between Krishna and Sudhama. They formed a lasting friendship.

After their studies they went their own way.

Sudhama was a poor Brahman with little ambitions. He married a woman and raised a family. Being poor and with contentment he always found himself in the want. He found his life miserable.

In the meanwhile Krishna had become the King of the Mathura. Though Krishna was his friend he would never think of approaching him for any help.
His wife pestered him to go and seek the audience of Krishna. He would accept it reluctantly.

For the meeting he would take only the parched rice as his offering to his friend and King of Mathura.

Krishna! Oh Krishna! My beloved Krishna! I am coming there to see you and I am not coming there to ask anything of you. You are the lord of the Universe. It is my goodness that I am able to befriend you.

With these thoughts he went to see Krishna.

Krishna would give him a royal welcome. He would wash his feet himself. He would ask his wife Rukmini to wash his feet and also to fan his friend, the poor Sudhama.
He would ask Sudhama what he had brought for Him. Sudhama would feel shy to even show him his bundle of parched rice.

Krishna would forcibly take it from him and start to eat the parched rice.
The next day Sudhama would walk back to his home. He was happy that he didn’t ask anything from his friend. He was very happy to be in the company of Krishna.

He would think that the Goddess of wealth Lakshmi born as Rukmini had fanned him.

He had no words to describe his feelings of his meeting his friend.

When he came back to his village he was astonished to see the changes. Without even his asking the Lord Krishna had blessed him with wealth.

In place of his hut there was a mansion and his wife and children were wearing good clothes and ornaments.

Seeing this transformation Sudhama thought that the Lord had blessed him out of his own compassion. Again this was a test to him. Lord wants to see whether he will be remembering Him once he got the wealth.

But Sudhama would never forget Lord and was always the same humble Sudhama.

THE POWER OF CONCENTRATION

Drona was the preceptor or the acharya of the Pandavas and the Kauravas.
The Pandavas and the Kauravas were cousins. The Pandavas were the Yudhistra, Bheema, Arjuna, Nakula and Sahadeva.

The Kauravas were hundred in number. The eldest one is Duryodhana.
Their great great grand father Bhishma put them under the tutelage of Acharya Drona for the imparting of the knowledge in weapons.

Acharya Drona taught all these hundred and five Kauravas and Pandavas apart from few princes that would come to him from other parts of the country.
His own son Aswathaman also was taught by him in the usage of the weapons.
Of all the students he was very much attached to the Arjuna. Arjuna was his favorite student.

Arjuna was a class apart in the usage of the weapons and he justified his preceptor.
With the aid of his bow and arrow the King Yudhistra defeated his cousins in the battle of Kurukshetra.

This following incident will reveal the secret of the success of the Arjuna.
One day after their training has been over with their acharya the acharya wanted to test the students.

He made the image of the vulture and had it hung it in the tree.

Now he called all his disciples. He called one by one.

First he called the Yudhistra.

He said to Yudhistra, ‘Take the bow and arrow. Aim at the bird above the tree. You have to strike the target only when I order you to do so’.

Now Yudhistra took position with the bow and arrow. He aimed at the bird.
Acharya asked him,’ my child what do you see. Do you see the branches, tree, me and others’?

Yudhistra replied.’ Yes acharya I see the branches, the tree, your self and others’.
Once more the acharya asked him what he saw. To this also the reply from the Yudhistra was the same.

Then the acharya ordered the Yudhistra to put down the bow and arrow and stand apart.
This process was repeated with all the pupils there, with Duryodhana, Bheema, Nakula and others.

Everyone was asked to take an aim on the bird but nobody was ordered to shoot arrow at it.

Then he called Arjuna by his side. He addressed to him ‘Take the bow and arrow my child’.

‘Aim at the bird in the highest branch’.

‘What do you see now? Do you see the branches, the tree, me and others standing nearby?’

Arjuna replied, ‘I see only the bird’.

The acharya again put the same question to him.

This time the Arjuna said.’I only see the head of the bird’.

Now the acharya ordered him to shoot the bird.

The bird was accurately hit by the Arjuna, who was single minded in his pursuit.
It is needless to say that the secret of success is concentration.

When a concentrated laser beam could cut down thick steel what does not the concentrated mind achieve?

PRACTICAL PRECEPTS

Are the Vedas and Upanishads meant only for the purpose of realizing God?
Do the Vedas and Upanishads have any practical relevance for our day to day life?
Do they urge us to leave behind the desires for our wife, children and our Earthly possessions?
Do they talk only about God and realization of God?
Most of the people think them to be so and relegate religion to their old age.
People tend to think that religion is impractical and if we apply the concepts of the religious precepts we will end as losers in this temporal world.
The temporal world and the spiritual world are poles apart. Therefore one should be practical, such that one should not confuse religion while earning daily bread.
Most people don’t think beyond their daily bread and for them their bread is their God. They work for it or rather toil for it the whole day. They live from one day to the other. They don’t have any idea of the higher self.
Most of the people think of the basic necessities and don’t go beyond them. Their idea of God and religion is limited by their vision.
In the karma yoga lectures Swami Vivekananda says that religion should not make you feel weak. You can be an intensely religious person and also be an astounding success in this world.
You can be a man of the world and also the man of the God at the same time.
In fact Vedas pray for a hundred years of unsullied, healthy, wealthy, wise and happy existence in this world.
There is common layout of the Vedas and Upanishads.
Vedas are divided into Karma Kanda and the Gnana Kanda.
Karma Kanda tells about various rituals that a man can perform here in this world. These rituals are performed with the motive of obtaining fruits like wealth, children, freedom from debts and sickness etc.
The next stage is Gnana Kanda, where you go beyond the rituals and the fruits. It deals with the realization of the God.
It is said that those who are after the fruits, come and go into this world. Going beyond the fruits and realization of the self, is the goal of the Gnana Kanda.
Likewise the Upanishads are also having a particular lay out. Somewhere in the beginning many of the Upanishads tell us a way of being a wealthy and happy person in the world. In the later stages they talk about self-realization.
As Christ said ‘Man doesn’t live by bread alone’, some people get tired of this kind of life of ever chasing the good things of life. They then think ‘is there any thing beyond this hankering of the senses’.
Once you come to that stage, you want to realize the true nature of the self and then you go deep into the Upanishads.
Swami Vivekananda would say that one has to progress from the Tamasic state to the Rajasic state and then only to the Saathvic state.
(Tamasic state is dark, inactivity, dull. ignorance, sleep etc. Rajasic is full of activity. It is marked by delusion. Saatvic state is calm, collected balanced state.
One has to go beyond all these three states to realize the God. All the three are bondages. While Tamasic and Rajasic are likened to be a bondages in iron. Saatvic state is bondage in gold.
Bondage is bondage, whether it is of iron or gold. All the three states bind the person. Realization means going beyond all the three states.)
The general order of progress is from the Tamasic state to the Rajasic state to the Saatvic state and then going beyond all the three states.
Since one has to proceed in this manner (mostly) one must first enjoy a little bit of Bhoga and only then Yoga will be fruitful for him.
Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa used to say that only a man who had been a King at least once in his previous birth and had enjoyed all the Bhogas can become eligible for the spiritual domain (Yoga).
All the Upanishads starts with a Shanthi mantra and before diving deep into the realms of spirituality they show a path for material prosperity.
One such path as mentioned in the Taitariya Upanishad we will see now.
It talks about the union and the ways and means to reflect about the unions.
It is a method for meditation.
Totally five unions are talked about.
It talks about Universe, Light, Education, Origin of Life and the Human body.
In this order of things, we go from the gross to subtle.
The Upanishads say the all the things are made up of the union of two.
Now we will meditate about the Universe.
The Earth is the first part and the sky is the second part. They both are joined together in space. The one which joins them is air.
(In this and in all the other verses that we will see the first part refers to the most important part and the second part comes to fulfill the first part)
Now we will meditate about Light.
In this, Fire is the first part. Sun is the second part. When these two join together water is obtained. It is the lightening which joins them.
Now we will meditate about Education.
The Teacher is the first part and the student is the second part. They both are joined together in Education. The one which joins them is teaching.
Now we will meditate about the origin of Life.
The Mother is the first part and the Father is the second part. When they join together life is born in this world. Fertility gives rise to the child.
Now we meditate about the speech.
In this the lower jaw is the first part. The upper jaw is the second part. When they both join together speech is born. The one which brings them together is the tongue.
The Upanishad goes on to say that one who meditates of all the unions in this manner will acquire lots of wealth and success. It also says that he will realize God. Success in the worldly affairs is the gross and success in realizing the self is the subtle.
In this analogy we are going from the gross to the subtle.
When we think of all the actions and the drive of the men surrounding us, needless to say, we will become highly successful in this world.
Succeeding in the world is the grosser aspect. Self-realization is the subtler aspect. The Upanishad says that if we analyze everything around us in this way we not only will be worldly wise but also be able to realize the Atman.
The Mundakopanishad tells that there are two things Preyas and Shreyas.
Preyas is one which relates to the material world, while Shreyas is a superior one.
Rig Veda, Yajur Veda, Sama Veda, Atharva Veda, Grammar, Astronomy, Phonetics, Astrology etc. all these come under Preyas (the inferior or ordinary one).
Realization of the God is the Shreyas (superior one).
Preyas means obtaining all the worldly riches. Shreyas means obtaining one which is superior that is the realization of the Atman.
When we awaken the power of the Atman, we not only will be able to realize our true nature but we will also be able to achieve outstanding feats in the temporal world.
Swami Vivekananda would say ‘call upon the sleeping soul and see how it awakes. Power will come, glory will come, goodness will come, purity will come and everything that is EXCELLENT will come, when this sleeping soul is roused to self-conscious activity’.
This Vidya is referred to as the Akshara Para Vidya.
The same Upanishad also refers to another analogy.
Swami Vivekananda used to narrate this story to his disciples.
In a tree there were two birds of the same plumage. They were exact replica of each others. One bird was seated majestically (Atman) in the top branch of the tree and was a witness to everything. It didn’t eat any fruit.
The other bird was in a lower branch engaged in the activity (One self). It was eating fruits. When it ate sweet fruits it felt happy and when it ate sour fruits it felt sad.
Whenever it took a sour fruit it got a shock and it hopped few branches above, to go near the other bird which was just sitting as a witness.
Sometimes it ate exceptionally sour fruits and that made it feel extremely sad. At those times it used to stop and look at the other bird which was sitting only as a witness (whenever a person is in deep trouble he tends to look deep at his Atman).
If it was fortunate enough to eat more of the sour fruits it will go near to the other bird quickly which is acting as a witness.
As it goes near and near to the other bird it finds that it is also surrounded by an effulgent light as the other bird.
As it goes more near to the other bird it finds that its self is melting and it is merging into the other bird.
Slowly it disappears and only the bird sitting in the top remains.
Now the transformation of the lower bird is complete. No more will it go in search of fruits. Now it has found its true nature and it is immersed in its own glory.
In reality there was no bird which was in the lower branches, tasting the fruits. The lower bird was the mirror image of the upper bird.
Everything was the glory of the bird sitting on the top of the tree. Now the bird in the lower branch has found its true nature and re-discovered its glory.
From this analogy we find that the Upanishads are not averse to our chasing our dreams. Though the Upanishads say they are vacant dreams, they do say go ahead and enjoy yourself a little.
There will come a time in your life when you will want to realize your true nature. Till then be conscious that you have a higher self, which you must discover yourselves.
Katopanishad also refers to this Preyas and Shreyas. Here the Lord Yama tells Nachiketa that the one which gives happiness (Preyas) and one which is beneficial (Shreyas) are different.
The world brings forth to a person both these things that are the ones which give him happiness and the ones which give him bliss. Only the man who discriminates between these two takes the course of the one which is beneficial to him.
A man has to pass through the stage of Preyas to attain the Shreyas. Otherwise the hankering over these worldly pleasures will be in him, which will prevent him from realizing his own nature.
First a man should try to be worldly wise, and then he can renounce the worldly pleasures to realize his own self.
It again means that a man even while he is after all the goodness of this world should keep in his mind that there are some higher things in life which he must strive for or keep his mind on. That will give him some focus some mooring, some morals in this life.
A man should always bear in his mind that there is a spirit and he has to realize that spirit.
If a man does not have this kind of an idea then he clings on to the flesh and thinks that there is no greater thing other than acquiring material wealth. Then the man descends and leads a beastly existence and becomes an evil genius.
But a man following the path as laid down by the scriptures obtains the victory in this world. Otherwise he will earn sin and he will be taking a much longer time and toil for self realization.
There is a story to this effect in the Taitaryopanishad. This concept is narrated differently in the Upanishad.
I will follow the narration of a Monk of the Ramakrishna order in a discourse.
Once Lord of the Gods Indra and the Lord of the Asuras, Vridhasura both went to a Guru to know their true nature.
The Guru said to them. ‘Tat twam Asi’, ‘Thou art that’.
Both these persons came back. They thought that they were Brahman (God). They went to their cities.
They both then engaged in merriment. They thought that they were God’s and they were superior to other persona. They thought they need to think of nothing.
They both then had the merriment as their goal. Day in and day out they indulged in gratifying their senses.
Time passed in this manner for a long time.
Then Indra the Lord of the God’s got bored with this life and he wanted to know the true meaning of the words of his Guru.
‘Tat twam Asi’ he mistook to mean this body.
Now he thought that this body is born as an infant. It grows and then it dies. Brahman doesn’t change. This body does change. Therefore this body is not the Brahman.
He went back to the Guru and said ‘this body is born and it grows and then it decays and dies. Brahman cannot change.
This body keeps changing from the body of the infant to the child to the adult and then to the old age. Therefore this body doesn’t seem to be Brahman.
Again this body is dependent of the food. From the stage of the infant this body has taken the food to sustain itself and grow. If one doesn’t take the food it grows weak. Therefore this food is the Brahman.
Therefore it appears that food and not the body is Brahman because the food sustains life.
The guru said, ;Tat Twam Asi’. ‘Thou art that’ and he dismissed the Indra.
The Indra then thought that the Prana is Brahman because the Prana distributes the food inside the body not only for the human beings but also in all the creatures.
He went to the Guru and said so.
The guru again said, ;Tat Twam Asi’. ‘Thou art that’ and he dismissed the Indra.
The Indra came back again and now he thought ‘mind is Brahman, because the mind is superior to the body (senses) and the Prana’.
He again went back to his Guru and said, ‘mind is the Brahman’.
The guru once again said, ;Tat Twam Asi’. ‘Thou art that’ and he dismissed the Indra.
Then, Indra thought that even though the mind is superior to the Prana and the body the mind could be controlled using the intellect. Therefore intellect is the Brahman.
He went to the Guru and said so.
The guru again said, ;Tat Twam Asi’. ‘Thou art that’ and he dismissed the Indra.
He now came back and reflected on his question and he found out the Ananda or Bliss to be the Brahman.
The nature of the soul is Bliss or Ananda or Happiness. Now he had found out the true meaning for the Maha Vaghya ‘Tat Twam Asi’.
This is nicely narrated in the Taitaryopanishad. This is called the Bhrigu-Vaaruni Vidya.
The Asura King never did entertain any such thoughts. He thought that he (body) was God and he immersed in all kinds of merriments and passed his life that way. He led a beastly life and passed away as one.
You can see that one evolved while the other stagnated and passed away.
Indra evolved because he thought that there is some higher purpose to life than making merry in this life.
So, even when you are engaged in obtaining the riches of this world you must have an idea that you are having another nature which is a true one. Lead your life such that the higher nature is given chance to express itself.
Vedas and Upanishads talk about being success, wealthy and also attaining self realization.
They talk about success: success in the material and as well as success in the spiritual world.
Vedas, Upanishads, the epics etc all have gem of ideas for a worldly person and also for the one who has renounced everything.
Vedas, Upanishads and other scriptures are common for all the mankind.
That man who understands their value and approaches them with humility to get answers for his woes, both in the material as well as in the spiritual plane will find that they are waiting to help him.